How do you know? You just......know

The last 48 hours have been extremely tough. It's getting to a point where you just don't want to be on holidays. I mean, if this is 'holidaying' then, I really wish I was back at work. I've spent a lot of hours, minutes, seconds debating on what choices I need to make. I think I've always known all along. Denial is a funny thing. It makes you change who you are, what you believe in, just so you can get through the day, or let you sleep better at night. Looking back now, the answer...its so clear. And like I said, deep deep down, I've known all along.



I know that the choice I'm making is right. It's right for me and everyone that I love and care for. Sure, it won't be everyone's cup of tea but, I'm okay with that. It's what's best for those who are so so close to me. My circle of trust. It'll break me for sure. I will be crushed. I will struggle to find my feet. It will be tough. But, I can and will do this. It is what is right. It is what is expected of me, it's what I expect of myself. I don't crumble when the going gets tough. I don't shy away and have everything handed on a silver platter. I know I'll have to work my ass off. I know that it will hurt ever so much.

But I need to believe that there is goodness on the other side. I need to believe that there is light, that the grass is greener on the other side. That all those affected, will get through this. I need to believe that. I do believe that. I do.

I know what I have to do. This is fate. Lessons will be learnt. I will be a better person because of this. All I have to do now, is just actually do it.

Peace out xx