emptiness

sometimes, at random points in time, i get hit with this feeling. i dont know what it is. but it's just a feeling of unsatisfaction? or maybe even emptiness. i pride on being a happy person. it's one of the best things about me, if i say so myself. i like being able to see the goodness in everyone and in every situation as they occur or will occur. im positive. but lately, its been lacking. its getting hard for me to do that.

ive been caught up in a dilemma. how do you let one go? im happy right now. well i think i am at least. how do you let someone you love go? how do you let them go? how do you continue to be with them knowing that they can do so much better than you? i cant describe the feeling. its like, i know, i am certain he can do better. better in so many ways. in every superficial way possible, he can do better. but as a person, he could do so much better than i. and it hurts. to know that no matter how much you try, how much you tell yourself that you're a good person, how much you love him, you know that despite all of that, he still can do better than you. and worst of all, deep deeep down, i think he knows it too. and thats the most painful part of it all...

New Year...New Aspirations...New...Blog?!?

many people i know were glad to see the end of 2010. they were waiting for 2011 with arms wide open. i wasn't too fussed. i can't really complain. 2010 was a good year for me. not the best, but certainly not the worst. i achieved goals, remained healthy, and was happy for most of the year. It was a good year. Having said that, i too am welcoming 2011 with arms wide open. It may just be the fact that its the new year, but i am ready for it. what is it? i don't know. but i am ready. i cannot wait for what 2011 brings.

its almost like a new beginning. i have a list of things that i again, want to achieve. but there's something about this beginning. i feel like i have my head screwed on properly this time round. i know what i want from this year. i know what i need to do to get it.

2011 is my year.