emptiness

sometimes, at random points in time, i get hit with this feeling. i dont know what it is. but it's just a feeling of unsatisfaction? or maybe even emptiness. i pride on being a happy person. it's one of the best things about me, if i say so myself. i like being able to see the goodness in everyone and in every situation as they occur or will occur. im positive. but lately, its been lacking. its getting hard for me to do that.

ive been caught up in a dilemma. how do you let one go? im happy right now. well i think i am at least. how do you let someone you love go? how do you let them go? how do you continue to be with them knowing that they can do so much better than you? i cant describe the feeling. its like, i know, i am certain he can do better. better in so many ways. in every superficial way possible, he can do better. but as a person, he could do so much better than i. and it hurts. to know that no matter how much you try, how much you tell yourself that you're a good person, how much you love him, you know that despite all of that, he still can do better than you. and worst of all, deep deeep down, i think he knows it too. and thats the most painful part of it all...